Fatal Flaws of a Leader series: Click | View Series

The Challenge of Sexual Purity

A month or so ago, I was talking with the counselor at my church and he told me that sexual addiction is the number one problem among men with whom he counsels. This scares me to death. We live in a cesspool of explicit pornography and graphically displayed sex that is hard to escape or avoid. I have been faithful to my wife for 41 years, and, with God’s help and grace, intend to keep it that way. It is an increasing challenge.

Flee Youthful Passions

2 Timothy 2:22 says, “Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” Although I am not young any longer, the advice still stands. I need to run away from movies, books, magazines, music, and web sites that displease the Lord and can cause me to go down a road that can be hard to come back from.

The song A Pure Heart by Rusty Nelson speaks volumes to me. Its lyrics say, “A pure heart, that’s what I long for; a heart that follows hard after Thee. A heart that hides Your word so that sin will not come in; a heart that’s undivided, but one You rule and reign; a heart that beats compassion, that pleases You my Lord, a sweet aroma of worship that rises to Your throne.”

Failure Can Be Fatal

I am reminded of Paul’s warning in 1 Corinthians 9:27, “But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” What a horrible thought—to be taken out of the game and on the sidelines watching the action from a distance.

Is failure never fatal? In some cases it may well be. I have seen it and so have you. Do you need to make some changes? How close to the edge are you getting?

Get Pastor Dave's new book, Leaders Who Last—available now.

Leaders Who Last

Too many Christian leaders stumble, burn out, or veer off track. Learn how to endure from a seasoned pastor and leadership coach in Leaders Who Last.

Fatal Flaws of a Leader series: Click | View Series

Don’t Stop Growing

I can’t lead if I don’t grow, especially considering the warp speed at which everything is traveling and the number of major changes coming my way on a daily basis. I must continue to develop and grow myself, especially spiritually, to stay vibrant and relevant in my living, thinking, and practices.

Be Teachable

Very much related to growing is being teachable. I am reminded of the person who said he wanted to learn, but didn’t want to be taught! No can do. Learning is synonymous with being taught. I am a committed life-long learner. I am ready to learn from any source, any person, and at any time. At times, I am humbled by the sources from which I receive needed insight and instruction. I once had a non-Christian make significant suggestions on how to change my gospel presentation. That was hard to take. Listening well is a good way to grow myself.

Last year I talked with an extremely gifted and articulate woman responsible for the women’s ministry at a megachurch. She shared with me that the most important thing she was learning was to be a better listener by asking lots of questions rather than doing most of the talking. I am learning that as well. I don’t feel I have arrived in any area of my life, even though I have been a Christian for 41 years, married 33 years, in vocational Christian ministry for 33 years, and have four adult children. I am eager to learn even more about ministry, marriage, raising kids, and cultivating my intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

Stagnation can be a fatal flaw. How are you making sure you continue to grow?

To be continued.

Preorder Pastor Dave's new book, Leaders Who Last.

Leaders Who Last

Too many Christian leaders stumble, burn out, or veer off track. Learn how to endure from a seasoned pastor and leadership coach in Leaders Who Last.

Fatal Flaws of a Leader series: Click | View Series

Flaws Can Be Fatal

Someone once said, “Success is never final and failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts.” Actually, there are many examples of seemingly successful leaders failing because of serious flaws (or sins) in their lives. President Richard Nixon comes to mind. Perhaps President Clinton is another that may well be remembered for his flaws as well as his successes.

Are there certain kinds of flaws Christian leaders may develop that could spell the end of their leadership effectiveness, their leadership altogether, or worse yet, the downward spiral of their walk with Jesus? I believe there are.

Integrity Is Essential

Integrity has been at the top of my “Essential Leadership Qualities” list for a number of years. Integrity leads to credibility, which leads to trust, which leads to influence. If you have no influence, there is no leadership. People should be able to trust me without wondering if I will do what I promised and deliver it when I promised.

I can think of few things worse than having someone say, “I don’t trust you!” I am increasingly careful about what I say and how much I promise because I am committed to integrity in all I do. Recently I sat down with a pastor who had sent out an e-mail with information about me that was flattering, but not accurate. Because integrity is a high value, I set the record straight.

Charles Colson was once asked what he considered to be the top three qualities of a leader. He answered: “Well, the first one would be integrity—and the second would be integrity. And the third one would be (you guessed it) integrity.”

To be continued.

Preorder Pastor Dave's new book, Leaders Who Last.

Leaders Who Last

Too many Christian leaders stumble, burn out, or veer off track. Learn how to endure from a seasoned pastor and leadership coach in Leaders Who Last.

What Makes A Leader? Click | View Series

Show It Consistently

Once your vision is clear in your mind and heart, and you are communicating it convincingly to your followers so that they understand what you see, the final step is to walk the talk. If you don't demonstrate that you think your vision is important by modeling it in your life, why should the people you lead think it's important?

It's a matter of putting flesh onto your vision. Here is where integrity of life comes in. By God's grace, I need to practice what I preach and walk the talk, so that I don't have to tell people what my mother used to say to me: "Don't do as I do, but do as I say." Let's face it: talking it without walking it won't work over the long haul. People who follow us will do as we do, not as we say. And when they get tired of doing what we are not doing, we will be walking alone!

Model the Vision

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 4:17, "That is why I sent you Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord, to remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach them everywhere in every church." That's it—being a living epistle of your dream. To hear it from my lips is one thing, but to see it in my life is quite another.

Successful leaders consistently model their vision, realizing that more is caught than taught. When John Wesley was asked why people seemed to be drawn to him, he answered, "Well, you see, when you set yourself on fire, people just love to come and watch you burn." Let your life burn in living color with your dream. It is a careful blend of communicating it with my lips and living it with my life.

What is a leader? He is a person who clearly sees the vision, convincingly communicates that vision, and models it consistently through his life.

Pre-order Pastor Dave's new book, Leaders Who Last.

Leaders Who Last

Too many Christian leaders stumble, burn out, or veer off track. Learn how to endure from a seasoned pastor and leadership coach in Leaders Who Last.

What Makes A Leader? Click | View Series

Say It Convincingly

Once a leader knows exactly where he is heading, the next essential is to be able to communicate the vision convincingly to those he would like to have along on the journey. There are a variety of ways this can be done, but it must be done, or else he will be making the trip by himself.

Sugar Water or Changing the World?

Steve Jobs, founder and CEO of Apple Inc., was trying very hard, but with little success, to recruit John Sculley to the vision that he clearly saw. Jobs was exasperated, and in his frustration he asked one more question, the one that finally caused John Sculley to make one of the most talked-about corporate moves in modern American business. He asked, "Do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water, or do you want a chance to change the world?" Sculley said it was as if someone had delivered a stiff blow to his stomach. The question eroded all his resistance and made him think like a dreamer or a visionary.

He subsequently left Pepsi Cola and joined Apple. "After all," Sculley mused, "changing the world is a heady thought." In a few words, Jobs had said it convincingly. He had conveyed his vision, the essence of his dream, in words that Sculley could understand—to have a part in changing the world.

In order to recruit and keep motivated followers, a vision must be convincingly and constantly communicated in a myriad of ways. One of the key roles of an effective leader is to manage the dream of the organization, and to keep that dream alive through verbalization, symbols, and visuals.

To be continued.

Pre-order Pastor Dave's new book, Leaders Who Last.

Leaders Who Last

Too many Christian leaders stumble, burn out, or veer off track. Learn how to endure from a seasoned pastor and leadership coach in Leaders Who Last.

What Makes A Leader? Click | View Series

A Leader Sees the Vision

A leader is, first and foremost, somebody with followers. If nobody is following, you are not leading, no matter what outstanding leadership qualities you might possess. Many years ago, my daughter, Anna, had a sign on her bike that read: "Lead, follow, or get out of my way," and the way she rode that bike, I believe she meant it. People are more than willing to follow someone who knows where they are going.

What Is My Vision?

Some of the first questions a leader needs to answer are, “What is my vision?” “Where am I headed?” “Is it clear to me?” and “Does it excite and energize me?” A son once asked his father, "Daddy, when we get to where we're going, where will we be?" I am afraid that many present-day leaders can't answer that question, even though they are certainly busy and getting a lot done. It is very easy to work hard at delegating, managing, and being efficient, but not head towards a clear destination.

Managers do things right, but leaders do the right things. Yet it is probably true that in all too many situations, we are over-managed, but under-led. Where are the leaders today who have a clear vision bursting inside of them? There was a pastor who remarked, "Everywhere Paul went, there was a revival or a riot; everywhere I go, they serve tea." The thing that’s often missing is clearness of vision.

To be continued.

Pre-order Pastor Dave's new book, Leaders Who Last.

Leaders Who Last

Too many Christian leaders stumble, burn out, or veer off track. Learn how to endure from a seasoned pastor and leadership coach in Leaders Who Last.

Effective Communication series: Click | View Series

Aristotle believed that effective communication is a combination of ethos (the credibility of the speaker), logos (the truth and relevancy of the message), and pathos (the emotional and appropriate response of the receivers).

The Foundation to Good Communication

I want to focus particularly on the ethos of the leader, realizing, of course, that having well-prepared, truthful, and relevant content (logos) and understanding and listening to your audience so as to elicit a response (pathos) are equally important. We get our word “ethics” from ethos. Aristotle identified three principles in the communicator’s ethos: intelligence, character, and good will. Translated, I believe it means:

• Know your subject
• Be a person of inward genuineness, conviction, and sincerity
• Place a high value on the interests of others

It is safe to say that people want to know three things about the person who is communicating. Do we really believe what we say we believe? Do we live by it? Does it make much difference?

Passion Enhances Ethos

I think that an important aspect of ethos is being passionate about what I say. It has a grip on me. I recall hearing about two leaders discussing their beliefs and how they were different or similar. After a few minutes one said to the other, “Well, it appears to me that we believe the same things,” to which the other replied, “The difference is that you have it on ice, and I have it on fire.” Ethos should be truth on fire, conviction, and deep passion that is picked up by the listeners. Aristotle believed that people are much more likely to respond to a message if, in addition to understanding it, they experience the emotion that elicits an appropriate response. This emotion starts with the communicator.

Conviction Engages Listeners

In today’s technological and information-overload culture, facts and reasons alone are unlikely to trigger action. We need some fire and excitement. I am not suggesting phony trumped-up enthusiasm or empty emotionalism, but conviction from the heart. I believe that effective communication is first and foremost a “work of heart.” People know if you really believe it and if it grips you. If not, why should they care?

D.L. Moody was once asked how he had become such a dynamic communicator. He replied that before he spoke, he went off to a field by himself and asked God to set him on fire! That is my constant prayer.

Leaders Who Last

Too many Christian leaders stumble, burn out, or veer off track. Learn how to endure from a seasoned pastor and leadership coach in Leaders Who Last.

Effective Communication series: Click | View Series

A Skill Worth Learning

Probably no skill is more helpful to acquire and develop than becoming an excellent communicator. I believe that communication is a skill that can be learned. A number of years ago I realized that my ability to communicate well needed major work, so I joined Toastmasters International in order to improve my private and public communication. It was by far the best investment in my leadership portfolio that I have ever made. I am still reaping the benefits of the eleven years I was a Toastmaster.

Author, speaker, and seminar leader Brian Tracy says,

Your ability to communicate effectively with people will contribute more to your success than any other skill that you can develop. I’ve studied success and achievement in America for more than 30 years. I’ve spoken to more than a million people, individually, and in groups, and I’ve taken extensive courses on speaking and the art of persuasion. I’ve read countless books and articles on how to influence, negotiate with, and persuade people. I’ve learned that fully 85% of what you accomplish in your career and in your personal life will be determined by how well you get your message across and by how capable you are in inspiring people to take action on your ideas.

Wow! Is learning to communicate essential or what?

Ethos, Logos, and Pathos

What is involved with saying what you mean and causing others to understand and respond positively? Let’s go way back to Aristotle, who lived, wrote, and taught three centuries before Christ. What he had to say still serves us well today. He believed that effective communication is comprised of the speaker, the message, and the audience, and to get your message across without misunderstanding is a combination of ethos (the credibility of the speaker), logos (the truth and relevancy of the message), and pathos (the emotional and appropriate response of the receivers). The ethos of the speaker sharing the logos of the message will elicit pathos in the audience. What Aristotle believed has been accepted, taught, and practiced for 23 centuries. Must be something to it!

To be continued.

Pre-order Pastor Dave's new book, Leaders Who Last.

Leaders Who Last

Too many Christian leaders stumble, burn out, or veer off track. Learn how to endure from a seasoned pastor and leadership coach in Leaders Who Last.

Leaders Lead Themselves

Leaders should spend 50% of their time leading themselves. So suggests Dee Hock, author of Birth of the Chaordic Age. When most leaders think of leadership, they think of downwardly leading those for whom they’re responsible. But you really lead upwardly (with those to whom you are responsible), horizontally (with those who are your peers), and, perhaps most importantly, inwardly (you lead yourself). If I am not able to lead myself, how can I lead others? Leadership has a great deal to do with modeling. So what is involved with leading yourself?

When I began to consider self-leadership, my mind raced back to a verse I memorized long ago from Song of Solomon 1:6, which says: “…they made me the keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!” A modern rendering of that might be: “They made me responsible for taking care of what belongs to others, but I have not taken care of what belongs to me.” I have not done a good job of managing, stewarding, and leading myself, yet I am tasked with trying to lead others.

Self-Management

The two key passages on leadership in the New Testament (1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1) deal primarily with self-management or self-leadership as a prerequisite for leading others. Could it be that the reason so many leaders fail in upward, downward, or horizontal leadership is that they have not done a very good job of inward leading?

A Checklist For Self-Leading

Here are a few areas to consider that are consistent with 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 as you reflect on leading yourself.

1. My gifts. How am I doing at leading myself to know my gifts, stay within my limits, and develop those gifts to their highest, God-pleasing potential?
2. My character. How am I doing at leading myself to be a person of integrity who follows through on promises made and is a person that others can trust?
3. My purity. How am I doing at being careful of what my eyes see, my ears hear, and my mind thinks about? How are my relationships with members of the opposite sex? Do I have guidelines, safeguards, and appropriate and honest accountability?
4. My pride. How am I doing at keeping Christ at the center? Am I the hero of my own stories? Do the words I speak communicate an attitude of arrogance and superiority, or am I characterized by humility and teachability?
5. My pace. How am I doing at leading myself in the use of my time? Is my schedule writing checks my body can’t cash? Am I going at an unbalanced pace that is digging myself, and those whom I lead, an early grave? Do I have a biblical view of work and leisure, or am I a workaholic who gets a sense of self-worth based on my work?
6. My finances. How am I doing at leading myself in the money arena? Do I have healthy protection and checks and balances built-in regarding organizational funds that don’t belong to me? Are there healthy audits over all financial dealing with which I am associated? Do I resist the lusting and grabbing lifestyle of my culture, choosing instead to be content and satisfied with God’s provision? Or is my happiness at the door of the next purchase?
7. My anger. How am I doing at leading myself emotionally? Do I have a reputation for being a hothead and having a short fuse? Do I keep score regarding perceived slights, insults, and put-downs? Do resentment, bitterness, and lack of forgiveness characterize me? One survey I came across revealed that bitterness is the major cause of burnout for men between 38 and 50 years of age.

These are my key areas of “self-leadership.” What areas of self-leadership do you need to focus on?

Pre-order Pastor Dave's new book, Leaders Who Last.

Leaders Who Last

Too many Christian leaders stumble, burn out, or veer off track. Learn how to endure from a seasoned pastor and leadership coach in Leaders Who Last.

Does Your Passion Have a Slow Leak? Click | View Series

Those Who Fuel Or Drain Us

Allow me to take a stab at defining certain kinds of people, and how they can either further our vision and passion or stop it dead in its tracks. I am thankful for the writings of Gordon McDonald upon which some of these thoughts are based.

1. People who fuel our passion.
   These are our mentors and role models; they are people we can spend time with or whose writing, thinking, and speaking expands and deepens our passion and purpose in life. Someone has observed that what we are tomorrow will be a result of the people we meet and the books we read today. I believe that with all my heart.
2. People who catch our passion.
   These are the teachable and the moldable; they are the people who are hungry for God and hungry to make their lives count. They want to grow, to learn, and to see God at work in their lives. They will take what we give and pass it along to others, multiplying our investment many times over.
3. People who enjoy our passion.
   Most people we know fall into this category. On the one hand, they don’t take a great deal from us, but then neither do they add a great deal. It’s easy to spend a lot of time with these “nice people.” They are fun and easy to be with.
4. People who drain our passion.
   This is where the major energy leaks can occur. These are the needy people, the people that struggle, or the people who demand hours and hours of our energy, but don’t often seem to profit from it. Yet, they keep returning with the same problems and want more of us. They are often the squeaky wheels that get the most, if not all, of the oil of our passion.

The Need Is Not The Call

As a leader, I want to make sure that I am spending most of my time with those in category 1 and 2, and to be careful and prayerful about allowing too much time with those in 3 and 4. With God’s help, I want to be proactive, not reactive. Those in categories 3 and 4 can, and more than likely will, take most of my time if I am not careful.

Nice people are easy and enjoyable to be with, and draining people are so needy that it is easy to allow the lion’s share of time to go to them. This is not to say that “nice and needy” people are not important or should not be loved. However, as a wise person once said, “The need is not the call.”

A Strategy of Investment

To prevent “energy leaks,” I need to determine what good things I am not going to do. It is an issue of the strategy of investment, not the value of people. As leaders, we should be keenly aware of the fact that our energy is finite and can be depleted. We must guard that spiritual energy (passion) and prayerfully dispense it, not portion it out as first-come, first-serve.

Gordon McDonald confessed that at one point in his ministry he was spending most, if not all, of his time with the “nice and needy” people and had little time left over for those who fueled and caught his passion. He thought he was where he was most needed, but realized it was an “error of great magnitude.”

A prayer of mine for years has been based on Jeremiah 42:3: “[Pray] that the Lord your God may show us the way we should go, and the thing that we should do.” As a leader, is your passion growing and being strategically invested, or have you developed some slow leaks?

Pastor Dad

Every dad is a pastor. The important thing is that he cares for his flock well. Pastor Mark Driscoll's new eBook offers spiritual insights on fatherhood. Get it here.